Monday, August 23, 2004

Another Year Older

So now......I am another year older, it's true. 22 is kind of a boring birthday. I like, well liked, 21. It still sounded pretty young. 22 sounds older. Maybe I will just keep saying I am 21 until 30 rolls around. Anyways, I had a good and quiet birthday. I had been out camping in Maple Ridge for SPCA camps and just came home for dinner. Then I went back to camping that night, where only Fruno was still up! But then we forced Lindsay to get out of bed to go swimming at midnight. Poor Lindsay stayed on the shore and took care of her and my dog (who, by the way, is nuts). I still owe her soy ice cream. It was good times anyways. And my camp kids were really cute......they gave me presents and stuff.

So, right now I am reading Screwtape Letters. I have tried to read it so many times but now I am actually getting into it. It is sooooooo good. It really gives a good insight into our "condition" and I definitely realize when I read it how selfish and self absorbed I still am. I can also pinpoint areas of temptation and potential weakness much better. Makes me step back in awe......I still have so much to learn and so far to grow. My relationship with God is just beginning.

Well, I think I better get of the computer........I have a busy day. I am going to finish up my room, go out w my friend (maybe look at digital cameras for my bday present!) and possibly go protest outside of KFC. If ya wanna know why check out peta-online.org. It is really cruel and evil!

Ciao.


Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Wallowing in my own sorrow

Do you ever get in those moods where you just hate everything and everyone? Where people all seem really stupid and annoying for no reason? Where you just look at your life and think "ugh"? Then it gets even worse because people try to be nice. I just want to hide in my bed and sleep and listen to sad songs right now. But instead I await Greek food and vent here, hoping to let some of this frusturation out. Unfortunately I must be somewhat social in a few moments. Why do I make things more stressful then they are? Why do I care so much about others opinions? Why do I not learn from my mistakes? Why am I not satisfied right now? Why do I cloud up my priorities? I want to be somewhere else right now, doing something exciting and amazing. Oh Father, snap me outta this, before I snap at another well-meaning person. Grr. Yeah yeah yeah, I need some devo........been so neglectful. Awe, I miss my roomie and shells and roose and bah-roo-lynn and chinglish speaking jenny and the guys ("very handsome") and emmanuel. Thats not even my reason for being sad either. I just feel like wallowing. Is that even how you spell wallowing? I miss Jenn and Julie and Jenna too. My room feels dirty and disorganized. I feel like I have no time to myself. The kennels at the Chilliwack spca are so sad and small. Those poor doggies. Why are we such a selfish and neglectful species? Why do we treat animals so poorly.....to be used for our benefit and disposal? Why are people so stupid? How can people be so cruel? There we go in circles...back to being angry at the human race. I know the answers to my questions for the most part. I wish I could change the world. I can go......I can tell them.......but I can't change hearts....that's not my job. I end this more frusturated then when I started.

Monday, August 09, 2004

Sniff sniff sniff.....kleenex is my best friend

I can't breathe through my nose, booo....stupid sickness that won't go away. Soooo busy the last while. The time keeps flying by and I feel that the summer is slipping away on me. So, what has been going on in my life??

Oooo ooo ooo, I got a new doggy!!! He is a rescue dog from the SPCA. His name was Rex, but now he is Texas (aka Tex). He is so amazingly sweet. He's an akita x shep but I swear he has husky too. He gets along great with my dog Jake. He has these awesome blue eyes. Awe, puppy love. Oh poor Gwen, I forgot to call her tonight! Gwen......we WILL go looking for doggies soon. Don't give up on doggyhood yet.

What else...I saw my friend Karen on Saturday. We had a Sex in the City fest at her house. It was fun, but I wish I got to spend more time with her....she is leaving so soon (going back to Hong Kong). She was definitely a spiritual mentor to me when I first got to UBC. She is really an amazing person.

Hmmm...my uncle and aunt from Ottawa came over today. They are so sweet. I think my aunt is one of the cutest people I know. I wish that they lived closer.

Hmmm...oh yeah, I FINALLY found a campsite for the Crusade camping retreat...thanks to help from my wonderful parents. That's a relief.....I was beginning to think we were going to have to camp in my back yard!

Not much else....just seeing movies and work and volunteering. I went to the driving range last week too. I am soo outta shape.....I was actually sore the next day. Movie-wise, a brief word of wisdom...do not see The Village. Please spare yourself and wait for video if you must. Borne Supremacy is good. Anchorman is so stupid but sooooooo funny, I loved it. "I'm in a glass case of emotion!" Manchurian Candiate is pretty good. Is that all I have seen? Feels like more.

On another note, God has been consistently revealing new things to me, as I keep up with my devos and go to my new Church. I am too tired to go into detail about this stuff now, but hope to share some of them soon. My new Church seems very amazing......Great teaching, opportunities to serve, so much closer to my house, friendly people, and get this, my dad is really happy to join me there too! My mom even wants to check it out...Yay. God is working in them, I know it. I don't know what He is up to, but He is up to something. The pastor said something really cool the other day.......he said that "when we wait on God, God works. When we work, God waits." Made me very aware that I need to take some time out and spend some time to hear what God has to say to me. I need Him to help show me a plan for the next couple years of my life and some decisions I must make.....namely in regards to stinting, Europe, and vet school. Each time I think God shows me something, I give it over to Him, thank Him, grab it back, then try to conform it to my own standards and squeeze it into the plans I already have for myself and my life. It's like I half trust Him. Even so, it is amazing that He meets me where I am at. It is one of my favorite characteristics of God......I am always in debt to Him.......He is so compassionate.

The clock is ticking and my bed is calling out to me.

My bed is calling me......gravity.

Oh yeah, one more thing. So in love with the Starfield cd right now.