The Plank in my Eye
I feel sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do. I see my parents in myself....but not their good qualities, which are many, and which I too often overlook....only the bad things that I zoom in upon and get frusturated with. What a hypocrite. I am not who I somehow have convinced myself I am. I am completely and utterly selfish and self-absorbed. I have been looking around at the world for so long with judging eyes, but I missed my own reflection. Someone I love so much has just broken a piece of my prideful heart, and it needed to be broken. I am so sorry to my friends. I am so sorry that I fail to really listen to you. I am sorry that I don't try to empathsize with your situation. That I care so much about keeping things "sunshiny" in my own life that I fail to really get involved in yours when it is stormy, like a sister ought to do. I am sorry that I am constantly doing things and doing things that I don't make time for my friends and that I don't actually take some time out and think about who I am........all the ugliness that has made a home in me. I am sorry that I am so wired to defend myself that I can't take truthful criticism. I am sorry that I don't understand. I am so full of pride I don't even feel like looking her in the face right now. I want to run away instead. I have gotten so "religious" that I have failed to follow Christ. All I can say is sorry right now. I don't know how to change things, make them better."Everything inside me looks like everything I hate, you are the only hope I have for change, the only chance I'll take."
posted by SarHa @ 5:23 PM
2 Comments:
i tried calling you last night bella, but you were out for dinner with your sister :( boooo. oh well, another time!
Hi Sarah, my name is Eric. Cool website... read a few of your posts. We are all flawed - each with the same capacity to mess-up... so don't be too hard on yourself, for Jesus is the one who brings about change in you when you can't. Ask him for help, turn over your problem to him - continue to seek him... Our Lord is faithful to answer our prayers when they are within his will. Keep an open line of communication with the Lord each day, worship him in your heart, and ask him to guide your conduct in life if you aren't happy with the way you are now. May God continue to bless your life and meet you wherever you are at when you call to him, Amen. http://xanga.com/Eric7169
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